these people
they are so wrapped up in something i can’t see

or feel

even now
i can’t get into the “spirit”
the “zone”
the “life”
living
i never could
all i’ve ever done is pretend to be a someone
with every fake smile and laugh
every faux attentive stare
as i think of something to say that i haven’t before
a statement or question that could change my interactions

but i just sit and listen to pass the time
this scenario is done

no more people and the pursuit of “chemistry”
no more sex and exposure
no more dreams and goals
no more work and the performance of “citizenship”
no more “fun” and food

i just want loneliness and space
stars and distance
i’m not looking for a thing
i just want to float and forget and be forgotten
and not worry about days
since they won’t exist
like me