Poem : Wanting


i’m trying to let life unfold
but my focus is impatient
and i can’t move past
thoughts and wants
that will never be
things that end up hurting
and leave me so traumatized

the strain bleeds into my eyes
and distorts what’s in front of me
of what’s actually possible
of what’s right for me

i’ll let go
or i’ll go mad again

i’ll find the strength
or i’ll disappear

i’ll try
but it’s difficult
to calm the cries
to stop the false imagery
but i’ll try
because i want to be happy
and proud of my time here
even if I don’t have
what or who
i want